Self Care: Perspective - look up, down and all around

Welcome (back) to our self care 2022 wellness tips. There are many self care rituals and regimes that we salute. This year we wanted to keep it simple, returning to the basics. With minimalism a foundation at LovEd Wellness, our fifth tip is: perspective. Oxford dictionary defines it ‘as a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view’.

The last two years have challenged our perspective as our world changed. For many people, our work, lifestyles and relationships changed. I call it a period in time in which we had a ‘microscope on the micro of our lives’.

Generally speaking, pre-pandemic, many of our lives were full of plans, activities and distractions. Suddenly, much of our lives were focused within the walls of where we lived, those we lived with or without, and our lifestyle choices. Those choices came into full, undeniable view and perhaps observed in a new way. With a particular attitude toward our ‘new normal’ and new way of regarding how we lived before, many of our ‘points of view’ changed. We became increasingly conscious of our day to day, giving us a new perspective on whether we really liked our day to day! Take a moment to consider your perspective of that time, is it different, changed or the same?

I was living in Vancouver in a beautiful, minimalist, bright apartment with North Shore views, within one block of the ocean. Most of my sisters were living in the city too, I was running the seawall, competitively sailing, road tripping on weekends, had lots of alone time and had created a lifestyle I loved…until all the activities, plans and distractions stopped. Despite loving so much about my life I became so aware of something that was missing and that I greatly value - companionship and love. The microscope on my ‘micro’, made me realize how much I wanted a meaningful, loving, deeply committed relationship, in my life. So, like many in the pandemic, I made changes. The catalytic shift in lifestyle made me re-examine my life and take control of what I wanted to change, in a whole new way.

Sometimes perspective shifts are small: the recommendation of a good book that inspires, a stranger who kindly holds the door, a new server at your favourite restaurant that makes your experience better than ever! Other times, our perspectives are influenced by bigger happenings: like a pandemic, a move, hurricane, illness or death. Many catalytic shifts can immediately and profoundly impact our perspective. As a childhood debater, I always found it exciting to consider and argue the opposing side. ‘Be it resolved that..’ offered perspective and ensured that I was open enough to consider another viewpoint, not becoming too emotionally invested in only one perspective.

We are all living and leading our lives with the ‘lens we see the world’, based on our past and the circumstances of our lives, says Landmark Education. Naturally, it is hard to consider other’s perspectives when we have been marinating in our own ‘stories’, with our ‘own’ viewpoints for as many years as we have. Insert age here ______!!

There is something fascinating in psychology called the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, frequency bias or frequency illusion. Which is a cognitive bias that happens once you purchase a new car you start seeing it everywhere. The idea is that there is an attentional 'awakening' to the object that now holds value to you. Making new perspectives interesting. Perhaps if you learn something new, there may be an ‘awakening’ of value to you. By creating a muscle of considering differing perspectives, we may live a life that offers new perspectives, more aha' moments and greater compassion.

Moving nearly every three years of my life offered me perspective on other communities, people, schools, churches and opened many new doors of opportunity. Moving to the Caribbean for ten years was an opportunity for perspective in other cultures, learning new languages and foods that I had never tried. Taking a dive into the ocean still reminds me how small I am in this great big universe and flying as a passenger still makes me stare in absolute awe at the sunrise, view and clouds from above.

“ I stand upon my desk to remind myself we must constantly look at things in a different way…. See, the world looks very different from up here" - Robin Williams as John Keating - Dead Poets Society

Our perspectives can be the bedrock foundations of our morals, values and unwavering beliefs. Without compromising who you are, is it possible that you could become a casual debater of the opposition, a listening ear with no rebuttal, go somewhere you have never been and eat food you have never tried, lay down on the grass (snow) like a child and look up, or sit in stillness and ask yourself - How do I see the world?

“ Don’t believe me? Come see for yourselves. Come on. Just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way" - Robin Williams as John Keating - Dead Poets Society

Dead Poets Society Clip